International Church of Salvation and Praise
Who Am I?
Until mid-October 2016, I had a normal (as we knew normality) life. Having two Bachelor degrees which I studied spontaneously (Politics and English Literature), a Master degree in Media Communications and speaking four languages, I was occupying myself with fashion Industry, real states, architects and designers as a Content Manager, Director of Communications, Creative Director, Speech Writer and Event Manager. Therefore, large events, dinner parties, celebrations, inaugurations, trips, and luxury resorts were what my life looked like. Outdoors, indoors, laughing, team work, teaching, social life and being with groups of people were what I was surrounded with. I say this because many of you come from the same world and I want to say, I know where you are coming from. I‘ve been there.
In my whole life I believed in God. The holy and only God. I never lied, cheated, stole, hurt anyone or anything. I was never jealous or never plotted against anybody’s wellbeing, promotion or life. I believed in strong principles of morality and I added even some personal commitments according to my own standards. I loved perfection, I still do, and hence even in morals I chose perfectionism. But as long as I didn’t hurt anyone, I had my transgressions too.
I was even a Communist in my 15s before my father taught me a life lesson so I never went after that stupidity anymore. To make it short, I have tasted all fruits of an earthy life.
Since 2003, I started to study self-improvement topics and followed famous gurus like Anthony Robinson, Jose Silva, Deepak Chopra, Dalai Lama, Michael Beckwith, Penney peirce and many more. In early phases I watched the movie ”secret” by Rhonda Byrne and escalating the steps of meditation was so easy for me thereafter. I truly believed in the power of human mind and the universe, frequency and physic quantum. I’ve surpassed high-level phases of Neurological Learning Process NLP and Transcendental Meditation. I was one of the fastest and one of the best.
You can achieve what you believe. You can receive what you believe according to Transcendental Meditation and it is true but the truth is, if you are a God centered person, he will stop you at some point sooner or later to show you it is him and not the universe, and in that case, there will be no progress anymore. Your knowledge about the supernatural life will be blocked. I could see through things. I could imagine and receive what I have imagined. I could be never worried about anything as I trusted my inner being and the universe to take care of it and change the situation in my favor through focusing on frequency but I was an extremely God centered person and he blocked me from any progress. Before October 2016, it was almost 6 months that I couldn’t even stay in Alpha level of conscious (a level that you sense with more than five senses), let alone going higher. If some of you cannot connect with what I am saying, just know that I am talking about intense levels of meditation and I had nothing to do with spirit calling or witchcraft stuff.
In Oct 2016, an embarrassing political scandal took me to a place which I had never known before. An ugly place. I had to look into files and evidences which included pictures featuring children under pain, torture and extreme situations. My exposure to this phenomena for the first time took three days and nights with little drinking or eating. I was so focused that I could forget of being alive and needing sleep or food. After this period, I crawled in my bed and for the next three days and nights I just stared at the ceiling. No food, no water, no bathroom, no sleep. I was in profound shock while the pictures of those children were dancing on the ceiling and tears dripping off my eyes in silence. That accident shook me and changed my life forever.
After the third night, a heavy magnetic dream dragged me in and I met the Lord. I never believed in Jesus, Moses or any other prophet. I was convinced these are all fictions and people have created them according to their needs. But the moment I saw Jesus in my dream, I knew who he was. Our communication was heart to heart and when I held him, there was an ecstasy, peace and so much love that you can never imagine in a natural life. I don’t want to go through what I saw and what he told me. It is too personal. But he put two things in my hands and pressed on them and when I woke up, while I had completely forgotten about my dream, my both palms were marked black like the trace of a nail and a I felt such pain on them that I couldn’t touch anything . That was when I kneeled down and became a Christian and my hands were sore and black for a week.
But this was only the beginning of my Journey of Salvation. The Lord comes to you and you receive him and by this, you are saved. but that is just an entrance to the kingdom of God, a world that everyday enhances and takes you further. He asked me to do things that I did. He even helped me in writing my book which was his request. I didn’t have any financial interest in writing my book. It was only a heavy duty on my shoulders. My social life started to changes. I didn’t enjoy participating in some inaugurations which used to last until late night with a crowd of people as I didn’t enjoy the same arguments anymore. I broke with my boyfriend of 4 years relationship at the time as he was an atheist and didn’t have any intention to convert. I started to organize groups and spreading awareness on child trafficking, ritual abuse and satanic sacrifice and we were able to save some victims by the grace of God. I still work against child trafficking and organized crime.
Until a year later, in October 2017, I had many direct encounters with the Lord through vision, call, dream, or indirect insights and calls of the Holy Spirit who used videos, books, messages, speeches or even accidental music to communicate a message to me which was absolutely crafted for the special question that I had at the moment. I insist telling you that before I met God for the first time, I was a happy and healthy person both physically, spiritually or financially. I didn’t have any disease, problem, or lack to make me cling to God in order to get rid of them. Everything in my life was just ok and the only thing that led me to God was his pure and unconditional love that pushed me to watch those children’s pictures, feel the urge of changing my life and doing something so he showed up and I felt him in that first dream. In Isaiah 65:1 God says: “I am sought of them that asked not for me; I am found of them that sought me not. I said, Behold me, behold me, unto a nation that was not called by my name.” This is the degree of his love for us. He calls us even when we didn’t call him to.
In October 2017, I died in accident and was declared dead for 12 minutes. I had an intense encounter with God just in those 12 minutes. In heaven there doesn’t exist the concept of time as it is on earth. God is the beginning and the end. He knows the end before the beginning. He knows us before we are conceived in our mother’s womb. Those of you who had this experience and have come back to life after the death know how the heaven looks like. For me this experience was even greater that the blue bruises of my hands in my first encounter because this time, I saw Jesus Christ standing at the right hand of God the father. And after he came and hugged me again, the Father showed me a valley surrounded with mountains and pointed his finger toward it then put his right hand across my head, vertically toward my forehead and talked to me eye to eye before asking me to go back and accomplish my mission in the world. I remember how devastated and sad I was, crying and asking him to let me stay and he, in his grave solemnity pointed to the stairs down to earth, assuring me that all will be ok and I went back crying, looking always behind until I put my feet on the steps and couldn’t see them anymore and at one point when I was stepping down those stairs, I looked down and noticed that those firm steps under my feet which felt like a stony floor were clouds.
Yet I didn’t have any idea what was my mission. I began to study the Bible harder and harder, Watch clips of speeches and read books. I started to work on my faith and amplify it. Now I almost knew the entire history of Pentecostalism, Evangelism and Catholicism. When I was not a Christian I was convinced that Catholicism means Christianity and vice-versa and that the Roman Church is the head of Christianity which is not true. That is what the Roman Church implies to people around the world. They are the head of Catholicism and nothing more. I found out how Catholicism is different from Evangelism. I noticed how the establishment church created a hierarchy and limited the power to themselves while giving us a wrong impression about Christianity. They actually made a scary picture that served them to build the religion. Religion and religiosity were never God’s intention. Modern Pharisees condemn us just like old Pharisees did with Jesus. Our Lord didn’t die on the cross to establish a religion but a relationship.
Just like the old Pharisees crucified the Lord, new Pharisees would do it again right now if he was alive and opposed what they have built. I want to emphasize that I am talking about the Roman Church and not my Catholic brothers and sisters.
The result of my endless hunger for God and studying his word and everyday asking him for a relationship finally brought me his gift. On October 15, 2018, after two complete years of my entrance to the kingdom of God and non-stop efforts to craft my faith, I was rewarded by being in the glory for 4 hours and this magnificent gift of God repeated for the next 2 days. In total, I was in the Glory of God and the presence of the Holy Spirit on Oct 15, 16 and 17, each day about four hours and one hour speaking in tongues.
How can I express what it feels to be in the glory? It is the outpouring of the presence of God. It is his fingerprint on our lives. It is a tangible experience with God because he LOVES to reveal himself to us and even to those who have not asked for him. It is a revelation.
When fire of God hits, it imprints messages on our soul. Messages that transform our entire life. Some can’t move and some feel hyper-vibrated. I personally couldn’t move and it was so consuming that each day, after the glory, I was almost drained and exhausted. My eyes were burning and swelling like after a long cry, my head was spinning and my body as like after lifting heavy weights but my heart was in ecstasy. It was like being stroked by a heavy cloud. It is so pleasant, so ultra-relaxing but very very consuming.
In 1995, on father’s day in Brownsville, when the presence of the Holy Spirit hit the Assembly of God in Pensacola, known as the Brownsville Revival, when Evangelist Steve Hill was preaching and calling to holiness and manifestation of the Holy Spirit, the same revival that Pastor John Kilpatrick was praying for two and half a year and it didn’t happen, suddenly happened and fire of God hit the church. Pastor John Kilpatrick was hit by the fire of God through the Holy Spirit and fell on the floor. He was under the glory for 4 hours. All was caught on tape. He couldn’t move but as he explained later in an interview, all his senses were working. He could hear, he could understand but he couldn’t move and when he finally could stand up, which was hours later and not registered on tape anymore, he said he was totally drained. That was exactly what happened to me. The revival in Pensacola is a great phenomenon and lasted for a period of four and a half year until Christmas 2000 and changed the life of 4 and half million people. That was the last revival before 2016, the new season of revival which as God has promised started. A season when there will be a day that preachers and evangelists who will rise among the nation will not be your traditional preachers but people whom you would never imagine to walk in faith someday.
Being in the glory changed my life like up-side down. As I said, my encounter with the Lord in Oct 2016 was just an entrance. I was saved, that’s for sure, I was forgiven, my life was significantly changed, my desires were changed, my social life was transformed as I eliminated what was not in line with my faith but the general scope of my life was not so clear before the glory.
After these 3 holy days, I knew I will live only to serve the Lord. I resigned from my job, and tried to focus on what is the best way to serve the Lord. I thought it might be writing a new book, or translating the material that already exist to other languages to make them available to many nations or many other ideas but I was determined to find out my destiny. My destiny could be only and only what God desired for me to do. I thought of everything, except preaching the Gospel. That was never on my list as I didn’t have a church-life background.
I have a great lesson for you at this section. When God chooses you, and when you are reached to some point in hierarchy of faith and when you have passed his verification, he is always up to something. He pushes you to hell. I am serious. He forces you from blessing to the storm and from one storm to another storm before he blesses you again and this “pattern” goes on for quite some time. Sometimes even for a season because he really doesn’t care what is your health situation or your financial position and time has no meaning for him. He really pushes you through hell on earth because you have faith and he knows that you have faith but he needs God-kind of faith because he knows the great blessing that will come for a chosen servant and he knows what you will go through so he needs you mighty. He can fix your situation in a blink of eyes but he wants you capable and mature in your faith. When he is finished, he will restore your time and your situation just as it didn’t happen. So if you are going through hell, just trust him. There will be a day that we stand before him and the crowns are proffered and I am sure you don’t want to miss it by comparing other people’s blessings with yourself when you go through a difficulty. Don’t ever complain that your life was better before you got faith. Don’t ever moan or ask him a reward because he is pushing you to hell. Just go to him and declare your love and commitment in spite of what is is happening to you. Wait for God and let him accomplish his plan through you and you will see that it will be so greater than what you could imagine because he is God of abundance.
From October 2018 until this date, I went through hell. All that could happen to an individual happened to me at once but I didn’t bow to problems. There were times that I thought I might not be that strong but his love and presence is so joyful that surpass our limitations. On Jan 20, 2019, when I didn’t break, when I kept the covenant even though being through hell, he called my name. He told me that I will go out and preach the Gospel but he also told me that soon, he will reveal more.
Imagine how shocked I was. I have never preached! I want to start my PhD in Theology (Divinity) but I had no experience in preaching, healing or prophesying but that was what God asked me and you bet if I want to mess with God. That will never happen. When God asks something you have just one option: You do it or you do it, that’s a covenant.
So I immediately took classes because you may be the best opinionist or speech writer but in order to preach you need oral speech skills and that is what I did. This is a sample of taking steps in faith because when I took classes, God still hasn’t revealed what will I do or where will I be transferred. The only thing that I knew was that God is up to something and I should be prepared. Preachers have spent a life in churches. Some have their entire families as preachers and some are from a background with three generation of preachers. I couldn’t just go and say hello I am the new in-experienced preacher that you will love, but I could equip myself with what are the basic needs to become a good preacher. The rest will be my passion, accuracy and consistency.
A month later on February 20, 2019, God woke me up early in the morning, calling me by name and the Holy Spirit stroke me again. That was the moment the Holy Spirit told me that it is time. “You will preach the Gospel, heal the sick and cast out demons. You will build a church in the place that God has shown you once (meaning after the accident, the valley that I saw when I was dead in my body but in heaven with the spirit), the place of the valley will be revealed to you but for now start with Isaiah 60.”
So I run to read Isaiah 60 and I admit it is one of the most beautiful and inspirational verses of the Bible. I was so humbled and grateful to God for being worthy in his eyes to grant me such a victorious verse.
I learned that I have to build a church with its gates 24/7 hours open and I should call it “Salvation and Praise”. Yet, I didn’t know where the place is and I was still living in a series of horrendous tests by God who is continuously working on my faith. So this time, I just trusted him when the Holy Spirit put in my heart to open an online church for now. That would be exactly a church which is open 24/7 hours a day and would fulfill God’s request. Besides, it brings people from all over the world just like Isaiah 60 says and it will be a platform to connect me with other ministries until the day that God reveals where should I plant my church and how it should look like.
The lesson I have learned in this period is don’t compare somebody else’s situation to yourself. Don’t tell God why he made somebody else the winner of a lottery when you, who pray every day, deserve more. Because you are actually telling God that he doesn’t know what he is doing. Don’t ever tell God that you are tired of waiting or asking him for what you need. Wait for God. Patience is the perseverance of faith. Remember when Jesus blessed his disciples with two fishes and 5 loaves of bread and immediately asked them to depart for Capernaum. When the storm hit the boat, his disciples, having just seen the fish and breads’ miracle, have have surrendered to fear. Fear is always against faith. Fear is in Satan’s tool-kit while God’s tool-kit opens with the key of faith. Jesus blessed them again by letting them be testimonies of one of the greatest miracles which was walking on the water. Remember that in any situation God is in control of your boat.
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